It seemed to all fall down…

4 01 2012

First off, i decided to start a third blog, because i couldnt remember passwords… and i cant remember this one off the top of my head…

 

I dont honestly care how anyone views what i post, ’cause its stuff that i cant stop thinking about or, need to get off my chest…

 

So, yeah, on to blogging about the title :L

 

This has been, the toughest week of my life, to date. It started so wrongly, and things have continued to go downhill… I cant even remember what started me off on this slump…. To think, that whatever has happened, has made me all stupid everyday, wanting to cry, and crap like that :/ I feel bad for talking to friends about it, cause is like im dumping my problems on them, they assure me ‘it’s fine’. personally, i hate talking to people… I had ago at one friend today cause he said ”I’m kind…’ twice. First time, i said, no. second, hit him and said, thats, f…. enough. I cant be seeming to sort this out. People saying ‘oh, youll be fine” when that makes me think when though. The same stupid action I’ve been doing for the whole year so far (wow, you say, no, you dont i know, but still :L it began before the new year… I seriously cant express how sorry i am to theese people, they are all going through bad times aswell (just me thinking coincidence?) My best mate advised me to talk to someone… And i i said  just cant (i hate talking about how i feel. when asked today, how i was, i could manage ‘meh’ or ‘like crying’… Real stupid yeah? 😥

 

Life was gonna come crumbling down at some point. Now, it’s just to wait, and see what comes out decent from the wreckage, and start building around it… however long it’ll be.

 

The long, painful, emotional and scarring battle to reclaim my life, has to start soon, right? I choose when…

 

Writing that, i felt in control :’) but, then i think, you cant just choose to, itll happen on its own. Then that makes me depressed. Well, rather than bore you more… im going to try to sleep, and hope my house dont fall down.

 

oh, 1 extra thing, Tomorrow’s gonna be very hard… cause i am basically on my own, none of my close mates are there… Some, used to be close, but not the ones i feel i can talk to, apart from one, or 2, depending on how tomorrow morning goes… Crying now… HA! (not cause imm gonna be alone cause im not, really, but cause thinking has got the better of me)

 

Right, now im done. Till, tomorrow blog!

 

D

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