’cause I’m awake this late.

27 03 2012

Now, I wanted to blog, but I was going to sleep. Obviously with the current situation with my dog i can’t cause i’d probably wet the bed, but im too worried anyway to sleep.

 

So, this has just added.

 

I’ve now like decided that i’d perch myself on top of a mountain of self-imposed worry, stress, annoyance, anger etc. and this really aint gonna help any situation. Considering everything stems from something…

 

I seem very mixed up, not knowing what to do, where to turn, what will come next.

 

I’m just thankful for my friends.

 

But back to my depressing-ness – 

 

Exam worry is starting to increase, and no matter how hard i’ll try, its gonna be hard to find any sort of motivation to do any sort of study.

however i am forcing myself outta bed early the first three days of the holiday… (easter holidays – three days – a story springs to mind…) 

 

with me just writing that i now feel a little better, like with that story, a some what ressurection.

 

it’ll last a little while. what i need to do is find a trigger for happiness, and make sure it’s like with me a lot of the time. 

 

im running off into different things now. like a melted mind map. 

 

I’m increasingly seeing myself as useless in friendships, everydy i seem to make things worse between me and a friend. usually one that i actual see as a family member, only to me though, like i adopted them into my own family. 

 

just realised i started getting close to an old best friend, and now we hardly talk. im getting affected to much my being at the top of this mountain

 

i want to come down to earth, be normal. but, im just scared of the fall, so im staying put. seems sensible to me…

 

why do i seem to mess things up?

 

:/

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