Now, I wanted to blog, but I was going to sleep. Obviously with the current situation with my dog i can’t cause i’d probably wet the bed, but im too worried anyway to sleep.
So, this has just added.
I’ve now like decided that i’d perch myself on top of a mountain of self-imposed worry, stress, annoyance, anger etc. and this really aint gonna help any situation. Considering everything stems from something…
I seem very mixed up, not knowing what to do, where to turn, what will come next.
I’m just thankful for my friends.
But back to my depressing-ness –
Exam worry is starting to increase, and no matter how hard i’ll try, its gonna be hard to find any sort of motivation to do any sort of study.
however i am forcing myself outta bed early the first three days of the holiday… (easter holidays – three days – a story springs to mind…)
with me just writing that i now feel a little better, like with that story, a some what ressurection.
it’ll last a little while. what i need to do is find a trigger for happiness, and make sure it’s like with me a lot of the time.
im running off into different things now. like a melted mind map.
I’m increasingly seeing myself as useless in friendships, everydy i seem to make things worse between me and a friend. usually one that i actual see as a family member, only to me though, like i adopted them into my own family.
just realised i started getting close to an old best friend, and now we hardly talk. im getting affected to much my being at the top of this mountain
i want to come down to earth, be normal. but, im just scared of the fall, so im staying put. seems sensible to me…
why do i seem to mess things up?